One thing I didn’t have to deal with…

Listening to the radio today, I heard an ad that encouraged male circumcision. Kind of threw me off… an ad on sports radio talking about penises… usually they only talk about dicks…

I totally forgot about the arguments my wife and I had years ago, about if we had a boy, if the kid would be circumcised… I was all “wow… I am circumcised and I don’t know what to do and how will I teach him to pee and clean if I don’t know what the hell’s going on down there…”, never for once thinking that if we had a girl, how I really wouldn’t know what the hell’s going on down there at all… period… end of story…

I don’t miss that argument at all… And I did manage to figure out the girls though, so I think, in hindsight, that I could’ve figured out an uncircumcised penis as well…

Oh, and I managed to say “penis” twice in a blog post… must be a record.

And so… in light of that… this one’s dedicated to KP!

germs!

I am a compulsive hand washer. I think that during the flu season, I am a obsessive-compulsive hand washer. It’s scary how many times I wash my hands sometimes. Watching the lather foam on my hands, I often cringe, wondering if I have OCD or something…

Years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our second child, our daughter got the flu. It was nasty, and I think it was her first stomach flu, and she didn’t know what to do. She was puking everywhere and it was gross. SInce my wife was pregnant, we tried to keep her away from sick kid, because we didn’t want to get her sick as well.

All day long I must have washed my hands every 15 minutes. I was determined to not get the flu. I was going to win and stay healthy. That was my motto!
At night, I slept with my daughter, and she was pretty good until about 2 AM. I woke up with her fidgeting and whining, and when I opened my eyes, she was about 3 inches from my face, and saying that she didn’t feel well. Before I had time to realize what was going on (I had just woken up… had no clue what was going on, and didn’t have time to reach for the bowl that was beside the bed), my daughter puked all over my face. I mean, it went everywhere. E-VER-Y-WHERE! It went in my mouth and my nose and my eyes… I gagged violently as my daughter finished up doing what she was doing… It was harsh. It was the worst taste ever!

The only thing I could think of as I tried to get all of the puke off of my face, was the fact that how an entire day of hand washing had just become a gigantic waste of time, since now I had practically mainlined the germs, and I was sure to get it…

It was that gross… but in the end, I never did get sick… and my daughter was feeling so much better after puking on me, that she chatted with me in bed till 6AM… um… thanks honey….

babies… what gives?!

I love and hate photo albums. Sometimes they’re great and fun to look through, but sometimes they just remind me that my kids are growing up way too fast, and that there’ll never be another moment in life when they’re this small and all pudgy and sticky and smelly and rosy cheeked and funny…
All at the same time…

Sigh!

insult of the day!

My youngest thinks that it is a major insult to say to her sister that she has a “Continental Smiling Problem…”
What’s worse is that my eldest laughs when she hears this, thus making the younger kid mad as hell.

But what does a “Continental Smiling Problem” mean? I think I need a translator…

something wintery for kids to do!

When I was a teenager, we ended up at the Robson Square ice rink all the time. It was free, there wasn’t a lot of rules, and it was great to skate a stones throw from Pac Center Mall…

A few years ago, the government lamed out and closed it down… But now that decision’s been overturned, and the place totally remodeled, and it won’t be vacant any more. It’s going to open real soon!
Hooray for ice skating!!!!

disappearing soap

The past few weeks, we’ve seen our soap dispenser being emptied every few days. I thought it was because that we were meticulously washing our hands all the time because of all the flu’s etc… but I was wrong.

Yesterday, I watched my youngest as she washed her hands before dinner. 6 squirts of soap on dry hands, then she evenly covered her hands with a centimeter layer all over, then washed it off. I know, that will work, but seriously, there was so much soap that it took a few minutes just to wash off…

And she keeps on complaining of stinging eyes after she rubs them… hmmm… I wonder… Coincidence?

lost in translation

My youngest decided today that “dink” is the future tense version of “dunk”…

IE: “Momma… should I dink my head in the water soon?”

Good one honey! You go with that…

oh… and I did something right…

nothing beats a kid’s birthday… and wow, nothing makes time seem like it has whipped by like a laser more than a child’s birthday… let’s see… 11 yrs old… 11 yrs ago: I have way less hair, am about as successful… but have two amazing kids…
not bad!

big heads

Sure… they might be funny lookin… but they’re all mine!

1 against 1

It’s raining like crazy, and it doesn’t seem like it is going to stop until May… Which brings me to my problem…

I have one kid who could read all day in her pajamas and hang out without doing much, then I have another one (let’s call her bouncy ball) that already, at 9 in the morning, is bouncing around wondering what we’re going to do today. She’s asked if we can go shopping, swimming… anything. Did I say that it’s only 9 and I’ve only had one cup of coffee? Plus I wouldn’t want to go swimming on a day like this in a million years.
I can’t send bouncy ball outside because it’s raining and I don’t want to go outside. Lazy bones won’t get dressed, so we can’t go anywhere… oh problem!

Socialite vs homebody… what to do?